One thing I forgot to add, and I thought about just continuing the previous post but decided to write separately, is an observation I made a long time ago (in my 20’s) about how men and women view relationships at that stage and younger. IN GENERAL: Using the analogy of “time spent” as a bank account, it seems that men tend to look at relationships as a checking account; you put time in and it is what it is; it comes and goes, and being in the same “zone” with a woman is OK. You don’t lose anything. It serves a purpose, which is to fill certain physical and emotional needs. Not to say it’s that calculated, but it just isn’t that big a deal.
On the other hand, it seems women tend to view relationships as more of a savings account; “time spent” is supposed to yield a return on investment–as in progressing toward certain life goals, like getting engaged then married, and when it doesn’t, it’s sometimes difficult to understand or accept.
Even as teenagers, casual flirting (holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, etc.) can have consequences so that girls end up in conflict and boys look bewildered as if they didn’t do anything wrong, which in their minds, they didn’t, because they don’t understand the process going on.
I could elaborate more, but that is the basic “construct” I wanted to throw out there.
What do you think? Have you witnessed, perpetuated or been a part of a reflection of this? When did you realize it and move beyond (if you have)?