I’m not sure how many of you pray and/or meditate, but I can’t live without doing at least one, preferably both, virtually every day, even if it’s just for a minute when I wake up or first sit at my desk or before I go to bed. It keeps me focused and when things are going good or not-so-good, I like to seek answers from beyond my own limited understanding of how to make things better.
To be honest, for some time I have been wrestling with some fundamental questions about my life and so I sat down this morning and asked God “What is my heart’s desire?” And I got a very clear answer, which is why I’m writing at this very moment: it seems like something I should share, because that doesn’t happen every day.
(A little background: my biggest fear, that I’m aware of, is not being wanted. You might be saying to yourself “Why would you tell that to a bunch of complete strangers?” The simple answer is that the best way for me, or perhaps anyone, to not let my fears control me is to expose them in order to take away their power. There is an old proverb I am fond of, which essentially states “he who conceals his disease cannot expect to be cured.”)
Anyway, as it turns out, the anwer to my question was–is–basically the opposite of my deepest fear: To be understood, appreciated, accepted; to be peaceful and powerful.
In my case, powerful doesn’t mean the ability to make someone disappear or to have thousands of people’s lives hang in the balance at my every whim or decision. For me, power means to control my own destiny, and perhaps even moreso, to realize my full divinely-given and inspired potential so that I can create positive change for myself and those around me.
I was told to Understand Him, Appreciate Him, Accept Him, Be Peaceful in Him, Be Powerful in his being everlasting, Be Confident in His ability to Be, Do and Provide, and let His power be mine. But until I stop seeking ANY of these things from outside myself (meaning other people) in the flow of life, I will continue to swim upstream with my lungs burning instead of letting the flow carry me and be able to focus on other goals and desires. I must have faith that all things are possible; live for God, not the validation of other people, and in so doing gain strength, resoluteness of purpose, and ultimately protection and prosperity.
(As another sidenote, my personal understanding of God would really dictate saying Him/Her, but for the sake of expediency, I deferred to the male aspect because this is, in many ways, about my own sense of manhood.)
So there you have it…my keys to happiness on a hot Southern Thursday morning.
On top of that, when I got to work, there was an e-mail from a professional development website I belong to about Excellence and Motivation; one of the key lines that summed it all up: “The best we can be with low motivation is adequate. No matter how hard we work at something and desire it, in the long run we will never be excellent at something without high levels of motivation in that area. In other words, if we toil in areas where we have low motivation, we resign ourselves to mediocrity.”
This last bit just seemed to be an exclamation point on my own “revelations” from less than an hour earlier.
Has anyone else had that kind of moment where something, or maybe even “everything,” just kind of comes together–as Jay-Z and alcoholics put it, a “moment of clarity?” Feel free to share.