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Addendum to Relationship Rules…

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Hey Guys,

One thing I forgot to add, and I thought about just continuing the previous post but decided to write separately, is an observation I made a long time ago (in my 20’s) about how men and women view relationships at that stage and younger. IN GENERAL: Using the analogy of “time spent” as a bank account, it seems that men tend to look at relationships as a checking account; you  put time in and it is what it is; it comes and goes, and being in the same “zone” with a woman is OK. You don’t lose anything. It serves a purpose, which is to fill certain physical and emotional needs. Not to say it’s that calculated, but it just isn’t that big a deal.

On the other hand, it seems women tend to view relationships as more of a savings account; “time spent” is supposed to yield a return on investment–as in progressing toward certain life goals, like getting engaged then married, and when it doesn’t, it’s sometimes difficult to understand or accept.

Even as teenagers, casual flirting (holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, etc.) can have consequences so that girls end up in conflict and boys look bewildered as if they didn’t do anything wrong, which in their minds, they didn’t, because they don’t understand the process going on.

I could elaborate more, but that is the basic “construct” I wanted to throw out there.

What do you think? Have you witnessed, perpetuated or been a part of a reflection of this? When did you realize it and move beyond (if you have)?




Author: aspiringoptimist

Talking about myself is probably my least favorite part about this kind of stuff because I'm a little all over the place. I call the blog "Aspiring Optimist" because I am driven to look on the proverbial bright side, but don't always succeed. Like anyone else, there are things that put a knot in my chest, that wake me up at night like an internal chorus of crickets. But I also believe that if you keep living and trying and working and planning, things have a way of getting better. I love to write, mostly for myself to maintain some semblance of worldly sanity and to work out the kinks. Unless some other people I know who also write, I may occasionally indulge a bad idea or two or three in the privacy of pen and paper so that I can get it out of my head and move on. But I also manage to produce poetry and some short fiction of varying levels of quality. I gravitate toward the esoteric, unusual, nature-ish, ancient history and generally cosmic side of things. I like to know a little about everything, but could do much better about knowing a lot about a few things...I probably would be a lot wealthier if I did. I love God, my family, and the ideas of freedom, equality, and peace. And I guess I don't hate talking about myself nearly as much as I thought I did.

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