aspiringoptimist

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Intimacy, defined

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I recently (actually, yesterday, as of this writing – 6/4/2016) posted an image/meme giving a definition of Intimacy:

intimacy meme

It made me think about my own definition of intimacy; what it means to me. I posted a response to the original, but decided to capture it here, as well…to be more permanent for the sake of my own journey.

 I would disagree with the statement in one way; intimacy is indeed ALSO about who you let touch you — but not physically. To me, it is very much about who you let in (as well as give your attention to).

It’s a matter of who to whom you lay bare the essential contents of your heart and soul and mind, in the trust that they will be safely taken care of; respected and protected, appreciated, even highly cherished.

To be intimate is to enjoy the prospect of being vulnerable because it feels like the reward is far greater than the risk involved. It is also about providing protection to that same level of vulnerability in another person when they need it most, and not turning away or taking advantage of it.

Intimacy, to me, is actually a cornerstone foundation for true interpersonal unconditional love because it means someone can be genuine, flawed, frightened, strong, nervous, joyful, distracted, intense, playful or withdrawn and it is understood as part of the human condition. And it is all OK.  Again, it need not be physical.

Intimacy, at its best and highest,  is about allowing yourself to express and to offer your whole being and have it be received without reservation, without terms and conditions.

I have been blessed to know this in my lifetime, to varying degrees. It makes life feel far more complete, or at least more vibrant and enriched, when it is present and active and a constant presence in my daily process.

No matter how strong and independent and possessed of self-knowledge someone might be, those gifted characteristics (again, my view) are not as fulfilling without being able to share them with another person, or other people, on some level. It could be a special relationship…or telling your life story so that others can be inspired, holding nothing back. This is not be mistaken for being incomplete or unworthy.

And I would also add, the one “exception” to this might be those special people who truly establish an intimate relationship with their Creator (by any name) that cannot be touched by the limitations of the human condition and ego.

I am eternally grateful for having had this in my life. And if for no other reason, although I have many, I say thank you to the Universe and all of Creation for that.

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Author: aspiringoptimist

Talking about myself is probably my least favorite part about this kind of stuff because I'm a little all over the place. I call the blog "Aspiring Optimist" because I am driven to look on the proverbial bright side, but don't always succeed. Like anyone else, there are things that put a knot in my chest, that wake me up at night like an internal chorus of crickets. But I also believe that if you keep living and trying and working and planning, things have a way of getting better. I love to write, mostly for myself to maintain some semblance of worldly sanity and to work out the kinks. Unless some other people I know who also write, I may occasionally indulge a bad idea or two or three in the privacy of pen and paper so that I can get it out of my head and move on. But I also manage to produce poetry and some short fiction of varying levels of quality. I gravitate toward the esoteric, unusual, nature-ish, ancient history and generally cosmic side of things. I like to know a little about everything, but could do much better about knowing a lot about a few things...I probably would be a lot wealthier if I did. I love God, my family, and the ideas of freedom, equality, and peace. And I guess I don't hate talking about myself nearly as much as I thought I did.

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